Brian vs Vinny?
by DecaTilde
Summary: After Brian beats Vinny in a game of bowling and becomes popular, he starts to feel bad about his little brother losing. Can our trio find a way to break Vinny's losing streak? Based on the Doug episode "Doug Clobbers Patti".
1. The Bowling Alley

_Brian vs. Vinny?_

based on the _Doug_ episode "Doug Clobbers Patti"

by LDEJRuff

* * *

Author's note: I'm just going to take a short break from writing "Dreams, Realities and Adventures" and focus on writing a fanfic based on another Nickelodeon show episode. Yeah, I know I'm not done writing "Millionaire Dogs", and I haven't written more chapters for it, but I will one day. Anyway, here's "Brian vs. Vinny?"

* * *

Chapter 1 - The Bowling Alley

* * *

All Brian's life, he wanted to be a winner, to be the best, to be on top. Well, it finally happened to him. The only problem was, the person he got the best of...was his own little brother, Vinny.

It all started one day at the Quahog Bowling Alley. Brian, Stewie and Vinny decided to go there. Usually, Vinny would win a game, but Brian and Stewie would hang in there.

Stewie finally knocked down a pin, earning him a place on the board.

"Keep _that_ up, Stewie," Brian began, "and you'll earn double digits in a flash."

Stewie congratulated Brian's comment with a high five.

" _Your_ turn, B," Vinny called.

Going to get his ball, Brian asked, "What do I need to win, Vin?"

"Well, besides a miracle," Vinny chuckled, "I'd say if the rest of your rolls are strikes, you _might_. Maybe have a chance."

"Well then, Vinny," Brian replied, "prepare to eat pins."

With that, Brian rolled his ball. Fortunately for him, he got a strike, earning his score up to 75. Stewie cheered the older dog's victory.

"Nice one, B!" Vinny called.

Before long, it was Vinny's turn. Like Brian before him, he, too, got a strike.

The game kept progressing, and Brian kept getting strikes. However, during one of Vinny's turns, he got a gutter due to nervousness.

The last turn was Brian's, and he rolled a perfect strike.

The final scores had shown up on the screen: Stewie got 7 points, Vinny got 128, and Brian got 130. Brian had won the game, two points above Vinny and making a comeback in bowling history.

"Wow," Brian said in awe. "I can't believe I won. I mean, I hadn't beaten Vinny at just about everything since our first game together." Turning to his dismayed little brother, he continued, "I'd _never_ thought I'd win, did you?"

"Boy," Vinny replied, grinning sheepishly, "I guess we all gotta win sometime, right Brian?"

"Yeah," Stewie added, "and lose, too." Turning to Brian, he continued, "How about we celebrate your victory at the McBurgertown, Brian?"

Vinny chuckled nervously.


	2. Blockstack and Horseshoes

Chapter 2 - Blockstack and Horseshoes

* * *

"You should have seen it, Jasper," Brian said to his cousin. The two were face chatting while our trio sat at the McBurgertown. "I practically crashed those pins."

"Wow, Brian," Jasper replied. "You actually beat Vinny in a game of bowling?"

"Well," Brian shrugged, "I wouldn't say 'beat', actually. Let's just say I squeaked by, right Vin?"

The dog in question noticed an arcade machine with a Tetris-style game called "Blockstack".

"Uh, Vin?"

This got Vinny's attention.

"Oh, uh, yeah. Say, Brian, what do you say we play a game of Blockstack? Loser gets to buy the winner another burger."

"Well, okay," Brian shrugged. "You usually beat me at Blockstack." Turning to Jasper, he continued, "I gotta go, Jasper. Vinny and I are going to play Blockstack."

With that, Brian hung up and walked to the machine with Vinny.

* * *

While Vinny played, the Blockinoes, which the pieces of the game that are an equivalent to _Tetris_ ' Tetriminoes, began to fall faster and faster each level until the stack reached the top of the board. His score was 9 Million points.

"You did good, Vinny," Brian congratulated.

"Okay, Brian, your turn," Vinny replied. "To beat me, you've got to score 10 Million. Good luck, Big bro."

"Well, okay," Brian shrugged, "here goes nothing."

Brian started the game. As his gameplay progressed, a lot of customers grouped up behind our trio, and were amazed to see that Brian was a professional. After Brian's stack reached the top of the board, _his_ score was at 10,990,000 points (the highest score in the game). This got Vinny down on the dumps.

"Wow, talk about luck!" Brian said. "Did you think I'd ever do it, Vin?" No response. "Vinny?"

Brian saw that the dog in question walked away, depressed, and he left the McBurgertown on foot.

"Good job, Brian," Stewie congratulated. "Vin said he had to go home on foot, but he gave you the money to buy you that burger. What a game."

"Yeah," Brian replied sarcastically, "what a game."

* * *

Brian and Stewie went home later that day in the Prius. On the way home, Brian thought about his victories with bowling and Blockstack on the same day, but not too much.

"That was amazing, Brian," Stewie said after hopping out of the Prius. "You should let Lois and the Fat Man know about your victories with Vinny."

"I _should_ ," Brian replied, "maybe."

When Brian and Stewie went inside, they noticed that Vinny wasn't with the rest of the family on the couch in the living room.

"Hey," Brian greeted.

"Oh, hey, Brian," Lois greeted back. "If you're looking for Vinny, he's outside in the backyard."

Brian went there through the kitchen door and saw that his younger brother was playing horseshoes, but with poor results.

"Wow," Brian understood as Meg went outside. "Vinny's really worked up."

"He's terrible," Meg shrugged getting Brian's attention. "You should have seen him playing with Chris on _Baila Baila Fiesta_. He couldn't get his dance moves right. He's really lost his edge."

After Vinny missed another horseshoe, he growled, "Oh, crap. I can't believe this."

"Hey, Vinny," Brian greeted, walking to his brother and getting his attention. "Are you all right?"

"I was just tossing some horseshoes, Brian."

"You're not mad because I beat you at bowling and Blockstack, are you, Vinny?"

"Nah," Vinny answered, picking up another horseshoe. "More like cursed, actually. It's like I lost my touch or some'n. I mean, I hardly lose at anything, especially to _you_ , Brian. No offense."

"But it's just a couple games, Vinny," Brian shrugged as Vinny missed another horseshoe. "It isn't like you won't beat me again." With that, Brian picked up a horseshoe. "I have an idea: let's say we play something else and you beat me like usual." Brian threw the horseshoe, which got at the pole, and chuckled nervously afterwards. "What about flying disk at the park tomorrow?"

"Yeah, maybe," Vinny replied, feeling a little better and about to walk back inside. "You won't let me win, will ya'? If so..."

"Let you win, Vinny?" Brian repeated, following him. "I don't have to. Besides, you always catch a disk better than _I_ do."


	3. Flying Disks and a Loss of Confidence

Chapter 3 - Flying Disks and a Loss of Confidence

* * *

The next day at the Quahog Dog Park, both dogs got ready for the flying disk game. Peter had the disks at the ready for his dogs to catch.

At the sound of the whistle, which Glenn Quagmire held around his neck, Peter flew both disks, and both Brian and Vinny ran. Of course, both dogs ran at the same speed.

Brian jumped up to catch his disk, and successfully caught it with his teeth.

Vinny on the other hand, even though he jumped at the same time Brian did, wasn't high enough, and failed to catch _his_ disk. He then fell to the mud, and his disk landed on the dry grass.

Shamed that Brian got the best of him, Vinny sighed sadly, turned away from him and walked off.

Brian couldn't help but feel sorry for his little brother.

"What a dick," retorted Glenn. "I think I've hated Brian before, but I can't remember anything. My mind's drawn blank."

"Now, Glenn," Lois replied, "he's just lucky, that's all. Why in the hell would you retort Brian like that?"

Upon hearing the conversation, Brian feared that the neuralization must have been wearing off somehow, and he gulped. Turning to see Vinny still walking off, he then thought, " _Poor Vinny. I think him losing to me is just like a random audience member winning an award._ "

 **Cutaway:** We are at an auditorium where an award show was being held.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the host began, "it's time to announce who is the most wonderful person of the year. The envelope, please." With that, a woman wearing a shimmering red dress handed the host said envelope. "And the winner is..."

As the nominees eagerly awaited the name to be said, they were surprised when the announcer continued.

"Wait, hold on a minute." The audience gasped, about as surprised as the nominees. "This is highly unusual. The winner is the young man in the front row three chairs from the right!"

Said audience member, confused at first, was offered on stage to accept his award, and shed tears of joy.

"This is the happiest moment of my life," he said. "I never thought _I'd_ be the most wonderful person."

"Son of a bitch!" one of the nominees shouted furiously, throwing her tiara to the ground.

* * *

Later that day back home, in the kitchen, the Griffins were eating their lunch while Vinny sat alone near his food bowl, still sad that he lost to Brian in Flying Disk.

"I don't know what happened," Brian said in worry. "The way I jumped to catch that disk was easy pickings."

"I know, Brian," Peter replied. "It was amazing! It was like you weren't _trying_ to win."

"I _wasn't_ ," Brian replied back. "Vinny must have thought I tried to make him lose his confidence. He must think I'm a jerk."

Vinny stopped eating at what Brian just said. "A jerk?" he repeated. "Why would I think _that_ , Brian?"

"I dunno, Vinny," Brian shrugged as Vinny took some salt from the table. "I think I may be charmed or something."

"You may be lucky to beat me, B," Vinny sighed as the salt shaker lost its top and salt poured all over his chow. He then chuckled nervously. "It's like you're suddenly winning a lot."

"Yeah," Brian agreed as Vinny took a pinch of salt and threw it over his shoulder. "It's like anything I do... Hey, wait!" It was then that he realized something. "I'm on a winning streak! Maybe if my luck ran out, you'd beat me again."

"But that could take weeks, Brian," Vinny shrugged.

"Not necessarily, Vin," Brian replied as he schemed something.

"Uh-oh," Stewie feared, noticing. "That look in your eye doesn't mean what I think it means, does it?"


	4. Bad Luck Brian

Chapter 4 - Bad Luck Brian

* * *

Later that day, the trio ran over to the dump, with Vinny a little worried about what Brian was about to do.

"I dunno, B," he said. "Forty-nine in dog years is a long time."

"I know, Vin," Brian replied, rummaging through a pile. "But it _is_ for a good cause. Aha! I found it." With that, he found a dirty mirror.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Brian?" Stewie asked. "I know you want Vinny to break his losing streak, but it's a little too much."

"Don't worry, Stews," Brian assured. "After all, I _am_ helping my little brother."

"By the way, Brian," Vinny began, "nobody addresses Stewie by 'Stews' like I do."

Brian then dropped the mirror, which shattered into pieces when it landed.

"Well, _that's_ done. Now, let's go on over to the hardware store, guys."

With that, the trio ran out of the dump.

* * *

Inside Quahog Hardware, later that day, Stewie had set up seven ladders in a row.

"I guess you're good to go, Brian."

"Thanks, Stewie," Brian replied. Turning to Vinny, he continued, "Now, watch, Vin, as I run under these ladders so that I can help you break that losing streak of yours."

With that, Brian ran under all seven ladders.

"So, did it work?"

"I dunno," Vinny replied. "Hmmm, maybe I can give my mother a call. She has a recipe for anyone who wants to be _really_ unlucky."

* * *

Back at the Griffin house, inside the garage, Brian stood atop a steel tub of water, wearing rain shoes and a fanny pack, held an umbrella, had a custard pie over his head, and his nose had a clothes pin on it.

"You got the Apple Betty in the fanny pack, B?" Vinny asked.

"Are you sure this will work, Vinny?" Brian asked back.

"I'm sure it'll work, Brian. Now, turn around three times and whistle _Old MacDonald Had a Farm_."

Brian did exactly what Vinny told him to.

"So, feeling unlucky yet, Brian?"

"I dunno, Vin," Brian replied. "I guess we'll just have to test it out and see." With that, Brian stepped over a rake, which pushed him down into the tub, knocking off the pie and the clothes pin. It worked for the brothers.

"All right, bad luck!" they said.

"Glad to hear it, guys," Stewie replied, coming into the garage. "How about we put Brian's bad luck to the test with another round of bowling?"

"Very well," Brian answered. "After all, what does Vinny have to lose?"


	5. Bowling again

Indeed, the trio went straight to the bowling alley. For Vinny, it was a little practice, and it paid off a little.

During one of his turns, Brian aimed for a miss, but he got a strike anyway.

"Boy, this doesn't look good," he said.

"Guess Ma's Apple Betty ain't a match for your winning streak, B," Vinny replied.

A few turns have passed, and Vinny kept getting perfect strikes. So did Brian, even though he tried to get some misses.

The final turn was Vinny's. If he could get a strike, he would win. If he couldn't, _Brian_ would win. And the score was close.

Brian, feeling a little guilty, had to say something to his little brother, since he couldn't let him wreck himself this way, and he saw him panting.

"Vinny," Brian began, "listen. It's not important if you win or lose. It's just a silly game anyway. It doesn't prove who's better at winning."

"I know, Brian," Vinny replied. "But..."

"No 'buts', Vin," Brian interrupted. "That last ball doesn't matter. Win or lose, I still think you're a wonderful little brother."

"Wow, Brian," Vinny said, awed. "I guess I just overreacted a bit. So what if I get beat once in a while? It ain't a biggy. It's just the way the ball rolls. Thanks, B."

Little did Vinny know when he put his bowling ball down, it rolled slowly all the way to the pins, and they all fell. Pause.

"Wow, Vin," Brian suddenly said, impressed. "You did good."

"Yeah, I guess I did," Vinny replied.

Stewie did a little victory dance for Vinny's win.

"Rope it in, Stews," Vinny continued to Stewie. "We don't need no victory dance to celebrate my win. Brian _is_ right, by the way. It don't matter if you win or lose. But I _did_ have a good time."

"Yes, Vinny," Brian agreed, "you sure did."

"Besides," Vinny continued as Stewie still did the dance, "people are staring at ya'."

"I don't mind," Stewie replied.

* * *

The End


End file.
